Although you won’t hear about it much, abortion regret is extremely common. Pro-abortion activists aggressively suppress any discussion of abortion regret because it undermines their position. Sadly, this means that the women (and men) who experience this phenomenon often feel that they are alone and have nowhere to turn.
Abortion regret can affect your personal relationships, your peace of mind, your professional performance, and your enjoyment of life. If this describes you, know that you are definitely not alone. Hundreds of thousands of women get abortions every year. Many of these women come to regret their decisions: some right away, while for others, it may take months or even years to even admit, let alone face, their misgivings. Some signs of post-abortive stress include persistent memories, anxiety, depression, insomnia, a fear of becoming pregnant again, and self-destructive behaviors like promiscuity, eating disorders, and entering an abusive relationship. Some might also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, dizziness, abdominal cramps, and a rapid heartbeat.
There is something you can do about it: get post-abortive care at a pregnancy resource center. There, you’ll be able to talk about your situation in a non-judgmental environment so you can experience hope and healing. If you are in the northern Idaho area around Coeur d’Alene, Post Falls, or Hayden, you can get help at Open Arms Real Choices Clinic.
You can’t suppress your memories permanently, and you cannot run away from your feelings. At some point, you have to face what happened so that you can move on and build a more positive path forward for yourself.
If you think it is time to begin the healing process, reach out to us at Open Arms Real Choices Clinic and book an appointment with one of our counselors. Here, you can talk to someone who has a sympathetic ear about what happened in complete confidentiality. Our counselors are trained to guide you through the grieving process – and yes, it is normal to grieve. You can also join a support group and speak to other women who understand exactly what you’re going through, and you can share with each other your feelings and insights.
The Grieving Process and Forgiveness
At first, some women feel relief after their abortions but then find that this is quickly replaced by grief. Dealing with the loss of an unborn child is hard because you have no physical evidence that the child ever existed. There was no memorial service or another type of closure process in which friends and family could be there to support you. Instead, having an abortion is often a very solitary experience, and many women never share it even with those closest to them. In some ways, this secrecy can create a permanent wall between you and those you love and who love you.
What is more, because you chose the abortion, you might feel you have no right to grieve. This is not true. The grieving process is vital to helping you find peace.
The first step for healing is to acknowledge and remember what happened by talking about your experience. This might be very painful, but it is necessary since it allows you to focus on the source of your grief and to recognize your conflicting emotions. It is the beginning of being able to let go of your anger or other negative feelings. Many women also are afraid to think too much about their abortion experience because they are afraid God will never forgive them for this particular sin. Many times it is because they find it hard to forgive themselves. But this is not how it should be.
At Open Arms, we know what you are going through. After an abortion, you may feel like you’ll never recover. But with support, you really can heal the hurt. Reach out to us at Open Arms Real Choices Clinic to book an appointment with one of our lay counselors. Let your healing begin.